The Diggers 

Ne Sursum : Nae In

Mr Ham

The rejuvenated Mr. Ham has apparently given up golf :the game and has bought into Golf : the product. If only his game were as reliable as his car - or, indeed, Mr. Dickson's car. 

Having recently moved to Stockbridge, it seems Mr. Ham's decorating skills are also like his golf - more MFI than Ikea - although, having told Lisa that the Diggers is a business and communications focus group which requires constant attention and practice, he should have no problems justifying his time away (the word Diggers can be substituted for any PR or publishing company you care to mention).

Too much time at Homebase may impede progress this year and not even Harrods can find the swing he needs. Seeking comment on this article, Diggers Inc. contacted Mr. Ham's PR representatives and, drawing on their many years of copywriting and communication prowess issued a statement entitled "!$@% Off". The phrases "more shots" and "you're all against me, aren't you ?" were also prominent in his communiqué. 

Mr. Ham's publicist, Ben Sherman added, "My client has the ability to succeed at the highest level in the new Millennium", so watch out for that maiden victory in the next 999 years.

The same skill and attention to detail that has been lavished on his new abode has been applied to his golfing equipment. This year he will be sporting a new golf bag, with integral dado rail, a full set of stripped and aged pine-effect woods, rococo wrought irons and period putter (with valance).